Lobby Trash Talk Protocols
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Wed Feb 23, 2011 9:21 am
#2537- Kaz--MoneyMember
- Location : Calgary, AB, Canada
This is just a rough guideline on trash talking in the lobby.
Since we all seem to do it, and we all seem to be on the receiving end of the barrages, here are some parameters. They are, of course, optional.
Rules:
DONT'S
1. Never resort to "to mama" references. It's a predictable douche tactic. Ususally comes out in the first 8-20 seconds from others. Don't go there. You become one of them.
2. Never call a high ranker a "no life". It is a very predictable douche tactic. This usually comes out when we have more than 1 player higher than 10th prestige. Since we're usually stacked with these so-called "no lifers", it just doesn't work.
3. Never accuse someone of living in their Grandma's basement. It's a tired old stereotype that usually comes out sometime before point #2 (the no life comment) and point #4 (having never seen pvssy).
4. Don't accuse someone of never having seen a vagina /talked to a real girl before. This usually follows the "no life" / grandma's basement diatribe. ETA ~30-45 seconds. Usually doesn't come out before the first game, but almost assuredly follows an embarassing loss.
5. Don't threaten to beat them up in real life. This is a fairly common, albeit random douche tactic. 'Cause everyone is a 7'8 / 275 lbs PS3 Gangsta when online, except us. When this tactic is used, we just get to laugh and call him an impotent PS3 Gangsta.
6. Do keep track of how many games that they have been annhialated in...so when they turn their mic on to talk trash after they got 1 victory in the last 6 games, you can remind them that 1 for 6 isn't brag-worthy. And neither will their next game.
7. If we're beat by corner hiding, bush immitating, window scouting, obscure place sitting d-bags, simply tell them, "OK pvssies, we see how scared you are to more, now we'll beat you at your own game".
DO:
1. Call them out for hiding like a scared b1tch. Synonyms for pvssy, courtesy of Orrophin, such as ham wallet,
oyster ditch, gut locker, pudding hatch, squish mitten, yippee bog, b!tch wrinkle, fiddle cove are always a propos.
2. Do call them out for using ghost to help them hide.
3. Do call them out for using Second Chance, and highlight their true stats....2-16 is actually 2-32
4. Do call them out for high KDR's and pathetically low W/L records
5. Do send messasges to big lobby talkers who leave mid game--especially the characters mentioned above.
6. Do send messages to high kdr / pathetically low win loss players who leave mid game, writing only "the 2.88 KDR and .47 W/L has just been explained. Quitter."
7. Laugh at them a lot.
8. Just keep telling them that they aren't even making any sense.
9. Make note of Lilac's often stellar performances. Bring out the misogynistic tendancies in the impotent little gamers we come accross. We know she's better than most of us...and her gender is of little relevence to us. But there are so many people who hate knowing a girl owned them that they might just up and leave in disgrace.
Additions??
Since we all seem to do it, and we all seem to be on the receiving end of the barrages, here are some parameters. They are, of course, optional.
Rules:
DONT'S
1. Never resort to "to mama" references. It's a predictable douche tactic. Ususally comes out in the first 8-20 seconds from others. Don't go there. You become one of them.
2. Never call a high ranker a "no life". It is a very predictable douche tactic. This usually comes out when we have more than 1 player higher than 10th prestige. Since we're usually stacked with these so-called "no lifers", it just doesn't work.
3. Never accuse someone of living in their Grandma's basement. It's a tired old stereotype that usually comes out sometime before point #2 (the no life comment) and point #4 (having never seen pvssy).
4. Don't accuse someone of never having seen a vagina /talked to a real girl before. This usually follows the "no life" / grandma's basement diatribe. ETA ~30-45 seconds. Usually doesn't come out before the first game, but almost assuredly follows an embarassing loss.
5. Don't threaten to beat them up in real life. This is a fairly common, albeit random douche tactic. 'Cause everyone is a 7'8 / 275 lbs PS3 Gangsta when online, except us. When this tactic is used, we just get to laugh and call him an impotent PS3 Gangsta.
6. Do keep track of how many games that they have been annhialated in...so when they turn their mic on to talk trash after they got 1 victory in the last 6 games, you can remind them that 1 for 6 isn't brag-worthy. And neither will their next game.
7. If we're beat by corner hiding, bush immitating, window scouting, obscure place sitting d-bags, simply tell them, "OK pvssies, we see how scared you are to more, now we'll beat you at your own game".
DO:
1. Call them out for hiding like a scared b1tch. Synonyms for pvssy, courtesy of Orrophin, such as ham wallet,
oyster ditch, gut locker, pudding hatch, squish mitten, yippee bog, b!tch wrinkle, fiddle cove are always a propos.
2. Do call them out for using ghost to help them hide.
3. Do call them out for using Second Chance, and highlight their true stats....2-16 is actually 2-32
4. Do call them out for high KDR's and pathetically low W/L records
5. Do send messasges to big lobby talkers who leave mid game--especially the characters mentioned above.
6. Do send messages to high kdr / pathetically low win loss players who leave mid game, writing only "the 2.88 KDR and .47 W/L has just been explained. Quitter."
7. Laugh at them a lot.
8. Just keep telling them that they aren't even making any sense.
9. Make note of Lilac's often stellar performances. Bring out the misogynistic tendancies in the impotent little gamers we come accross. We know she's better than most of us...and her gender is of little relevence to us. But there are so many people who hate knowing a girl owned them that they might just up and leave in disgrace.
Additions??
Last edited by Kaz--Money on Wed Feb 23, 2011 11:28 am; edited 2 times in total
Wed Feb 23, 2011 9:24 am
#2541- ChisaGod Of Boobs
- Location : Boston, MA
try to be colorful with your insults, make it a contest...why settle for simple p**sy, when you can call them sh*t stained hack, or muff cabbage
Wed Feb 23, 2011 9:54 am
#2545- GuestGuest
I think you guys summed it all up, because i can't think of anything at the moment to add to this barrage of rules.
Wed Feb 23, 2011 11:10 am
#2558- vNATASvMember
- Location : Jax, FL
Kaz, i think 6-9 should be in the Do's category... Number 5 of the Dont's made me LOL, it's always funny how AGGRO some people get, idiots
Wed Feb 23, 2011 11:17 am
#2559- OrrophinMember
- Location : UK
Alternative words for pussy (Courtesy of Bloodhound Gang);
ham wallet
oyster ditch
gut locker
pudding hatch
squish mitten
yippee bog
b!tch wrinkle
fiddle cove
ham wallet
oyster ditch
gut locker
pudding hatch
squish mitten
yippee bog
b!tch wrinkle
fiddle cove
Wed Feb 23, 2011 11:20 am
#2561- Kaz--MoneyMember
- Location : Calgary, AB, Canada
xXPARKRANGERXx wrote:Kaz, i think 6-9 should be in the Do's category... Number 5 of the Dont's made me LOL, it's always funny how AGGRO some people get, idiots
Yeah, just noticed that.
Going to edit now.
Wed Feb 23, 2011 11:22 am
#2564- GuestGuest
Orrophin wrote:Alternative words for pussy (Courtesy of Bloodhound Gang);
ham wallet
oyster ditch
gut locker
pudding hatch
squish mitten
yippee bog
b!tch wrinkle
fiddle cove
the English have a way with words dont they, lmao. "Squish Mitten", lmao.
Wed Feb 23, 2011 11:29 am
#2569Wed Feb 23, 2011 11:29 am
#2571- Kaz--MoneyMember
- Location : Calgary, AB, Canada
homescrub wrote:Orrophin wrote:Alternative words for pussy (Courtesy of Bloodhound Gang);
ham wallet
oyster ditch
gut locker
pudding hatch
squish mitten
yippee bog
b!tch wrinkle
fiddle cove
the English have a way with words dont they, lmao. "Squish Mitten", lmao.
We have to have us saying it to others. If Orrophin or Lilac say any of this, it'll sound like they're offering to make them a nice carnivorous meal.
Wed Feb 23, 2011 11:36 am
#2574- lilaclegendMember
- Location : not where i want to be
Think this is great Kaz, would love to use them myself. Only seem to go on mic when tipsy, and by that point, i generally have no idea what is going on to pick out the right people to trash talk. Might have to try it out sober :p
Oh and speaking of female genitals, i am sure this is old news to all of you.. but got to see 'blue waffle' the other day, omg.. that is fked up lol.
and ha yeh.. when we say stuff it always some how doesn't sound like we're being offensive. Leave it to the tougher sounding ones :p
Oh and speaking of female genitals, i am sure this is old news to all of you.. but got to see 'blue waffle' the other day, omg.. that is fked up lol.
and ha yeh.. when we say stuff it always some how doesn't sound like we're being offensive. Leave it to the tougher sounding ones :p
Wed Feb 23, 2011 11:38 am
#2579- GuestGuest
lmao, blue waffle, where do you people come up with stuff? lol
Wed Feb 23, 2011 11:41 am
#2582- lilaclegendMember
- Location : not where i want to be
look it up if you haven't seen. some kind of disease a STD women get apparently? not sure if it's real or not.. but we can always say.. bet your face looks like a blue waffle :d
Wed Feb 23, 2011 11:57 am
#2586- OrrophinMember
- Location : UK
We British can't really insult people the way you yanks do;
Thou art wither'd like an old apple-john.- Henry IV, part I
Thou hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults.- The Two Gentlemen of Verona
Thou appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.- Hamlet
Thou elvish-mark'd, abortive, rooting hog!- Richard III
You shall stifle in your own report, and smell of calumny.- Measure for Measure
Thou art wither'd like an old apple-john.- Henry IV, part I
Thou hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults.- The Two Gentlemen of Verona
Thou appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.- Hamlet
Thou elvish-mark'd, abortive, rooting hog!- Richard III
You shall stifle in your own report, and smell of calumny.- Measure for Measure
Wed Feb 23, 2011 12:09 pm
#2588- ChisaGod Of Boobs
- Location : Boston, MA
blue waffle is nasty, saw it once, won't look again
Wed Feb 23, 2011 1:50 pm
#2612- RockMember
I told my friend who hadn't seen it to look it up on a school computer. A teacher saw and he got detention. I'm a bastard, lol.
Wed Feb 23, 2011 1:54 pm
#2614- The CD PlayerBurn Trees
- Location : swimmin w/ the fishies
we should just stick w/ muff cabbage. it's a jersey thing
Wed Feb 23, 2011 1:55 pm
#2616- RockMember
The CD Player wrote:we should just stick w/ muff cabbage. it's a jersey thing
Snooki want Smush Smush! lol
Wed Feb 23, 2011 1:56 pm
#2617- ChisaGod Of Boobs
- Location : Boston, MA
growing up next to Jersey, I can say,
DEFINITELY a Jersey thing
lol
DEFINITELY a Jersey thing
lol
Wed Feb 23, 2011 1:57 pm
#2618- ChisaGod Of Boobs
- Location : Boston, MA
Rock wrote:I told my friend who hadn't seen it to look it up on a school computer. A teacher saw and he got detention. I'm a bastard, lol.
that's awesome!!!
detention for blue waffle though, that's a bit harsh
did a female teacher catch him?
Wed Feb 23, 2011 1:59 pm
#2620- RockMember
chisa wrote:Rock wrote:I told my friend who hadn't seen it to look it up on a school computer. A teacher saw and he got detention. I'm a bastard, lol.
that's awesome!!!
detention for blue waffle though, that's a bit harsh
did a female teacher catch him?
Yeah, she was about 60 too.
Wed Feb 23, 2011 2:10 pm
#2625- ChisaGod Of Boobs
- Location : Boston, MA
well, there you go...not surprising
Wed Feb 23, 2011 2:30 pm
#2629- Kaz--MoneyMember
- Location : Calgary, AB, Canada
She probably believed her old boyfriend when he said he wouldn't post pictures of her blue waffle on 4chan.
LIES
LIES
Wed Feb 23, 2011 2:43 pm
#2631- RockMember
Kaz--Money wrote:She probably believed her old boyfriend when he said he wouldn't post pictures of her blue waffle on 4chan.
LIES
You are officially the first person to be sigged on LA. lol
Wed Feb 23, 2011 2:52 pm
#2638- The CD PlayerBurn Trees
- Location : swimmin w/ the fishies
fail sigged you mean
Wed Feb 23, 2011 2:58 pm
#2641- RockMember
GOD DAMNIT.
Somebody teach me the ways of this forum, lol.
Somebody teach me the ways of this forum, lol.
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